Our Bodies Know How to Regulate
What if our bodies have built into them everything we need to be happy, healthy and wise?
What if we're modelling our breathing, posture and other automatic habits on our parents, who inherited generational abuse?
What if it's not their fault, and simply our turn to find the tools to reset our nervous systems?
If We Stop Over-thinking and Breathe….
Anxiety rates are at an all time high. We can't keep treating mental health issues with prescriptions that don't work and talk therapy that validates our anger, but doesn't get us into our bodies long enough to feel what's coming out in dysfunctional behaviour in unwanted ways.
What's incredible is our bodies do have the tools to handle anxiety and pressure of life. Yes, reducing stimulation and learning how to rest is paramount, but the body has tools built into it to make resting possible.
One that I wish I'd learned sooner, is the exhale breath is the fastest way to chill the nervous system. If you're not familiar with the vagus nerve, it runs from the front of the mouth, through every organ in your body and ends in the genitals. It's a yin-counterpart to the spine and is responsible for how fast your heart rate and breathing are. It also affects hormones, like insulin and cortisol. Essentially, it controls how you feel on a daily basis.
We Have Agency
What's handy about the breath, is that is controlled by the vagus nerve and also controls the vagus nerve. If the body is feeling tight, the vagus nerve responds to that, the breath quickens (holding the breath or a shallow exhale) and our vagus nerves get wound up even tighter. A nasty snowballing pattern, right?
Fortunately, we have control over our breath! We can choose to become aware of it and modify the timing of our breaths whenever we feel like it. In fact, if you haven't already, i invite you to tune into your breath, and let your exhale be longer than you're used to. A common pattern is 3 seconds in with an exhale of 6(or longer) seconds. After a few rounds, how do you feel? Floaty? Relaxed? More present? Who doesn't want more of that?
Research finds that breathing with a longer exhale (like 3 seconds in, 6 seconds out) creates the strongest relaxation response in the nervous system. This pattern activates the parasympathetic "rest mode" while calming the sympathetic "stress mode," helping people relax faster and more deeply.
Learn to Exhale
Most of us never breathe out! Our parents didn't, so we never learned the power of the exhale. On an energetic level, we're constantly consuming. Between constant stimulation, screens, caffeine and the pressures of life, we have forgotten out how to let go of the need to do and to surrender into rest.
If the exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system, guess what activates the sympathetic one (for fight/ flight)? The inhale. They're supposed to go together; like salt and pepper! Inhale to activate, exhale to release. But if we don't exhale, or only exhale as long as our inhale, doesn't it make sense that our vagus nerve is wound like a jack in the box, our anxiety is through the roof and mental health in the gutter?
So next time you're feeling wound up, I invite you to focus on the exhale. Let the air go, with whatever judgement you're carrying around.
Creative prompt: What are you holding onto that doesn't serve you?
with love,
✨ 🌲 Audrey 🌲 ✨
PS: The ad below helps support this newsletter through affiliate revenue—your clicks make this work sustainable. I can’t express enough gratitude for any of you who click!
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PPS: Want to share your thoughts? Just reply to this email! People have been asking about a forum—I'm researching options and will share more soon. Thank you for reading this far. I love you 🫶

Friends enjoying buns in the snow (bonus content for reading this far)


